Hi, Ive written 2 body paragraphs that need some editing in them. I need a connected introduction and conclusion. this has to be of the same English level as my writing attached. maybe a bit better but definitely not Ph.D. level. this essay is just to test my English not my technical information of finance. so make it related to my level with no plagiarism and do not use citations and sources only your original thinking. the essay should be 400-500 words only.
the Introduction moves fluently from general to specific; skilfully sets context; and ends with the thesis I wrote, but in the thesis change, the 2nd reason for something like Saudi should increase wages to make post-secondary education accessible to citizens.
in body 2 (topic sentence with 1 reason) make the reason unified and use this exact citation after your thoughtful elaboration: due to this, approximately, only a third of young adults from poor families attend tertiary education compared to around half in rich families (Burrows, 2019)
the 5 sentence conclusion (rephrased thesis with 2 reasons + insightful implication 1 + insightful implication 2 + specific advice to the agent + what if advice followed (positive prediction)) the conclusion must start with in conclusion. and the insightful implication is based on everything to be said in the essay as a whole (what will happen) and what effects it has on a broader scale.
topic knowledge:
Saudi education is free + the minimum wage is 4000 sar ($1050 usd) so mention that. although it is free it is hard to get accepted because the acceptance rate is low in the country so raising wages will reduce stress for high schoolers and allow them to focus on studying both in their 3-year journey in high school and the college exams. even if not accepted they can enroll in private educational institutions.
attached is the grading rubric so please follow it to score an a.