Comment 1
Check your line spacing. It should be double-spaced.
Comment 2
The connection to your career was part of the prewriting requirements for the paper, but it
doesnt need to be in the paper itself. Generally, avoid use of the first-person in academic
writing.
Strikethrough.
Comment 4
Fundamentally, the purpose of the introduction in a short paper such as this is to 1) pique
the readers interest, 2) establish the controversy/problem the paper will address, and 3)
propose your thesis as the solution/answer to that controversy/problem. How well do you
think this paragraph accomplishes those three things?
Comment 5
Good thesis.
PAGE 2
Comment 6
This idea isnt carried throughout the paragraph. The importance of good employment is
discussed, but the connection between education and employment is not. Do the strong jobs
mentioned at the end of the paragraph require much education? Make that connection.
Strikethrough.
Comment 8
When you proofread for the final draft, make sure your capitalization is correct. Its not a
huge issue, butIn Project One, you identified an issue in your current major, a major you are interested in pursuing, or your field of work. In Project Two, you established an argument and supported it with research and relevant evidence in a persuasive essay. In this project, you will reflect on how you chose to incorporate the feedback you received in the course concerning your argument, your exploration of the issue, and your integration of sources in your essay. Additionally, you will note any challenges you faced in incorporating resources and developing your argument throughout the writing process
Specifically, you must address the following rubric criteria:
Reflection
Describe why you chose to incorporate specific feedback about your argument into your persuasive essay.
You might use feedback from your instructor or peers or from outside the class if you did not get any feedback from classmates.
Describe what decisions you made in your essay based on feedback about the exploration of your issue.
Describe how you used feedback to make changes or support your original direction.
Describe the decisions you made based on feedback about source integration.
Describe how you used feedback to make changes or support your original direction.
Describe which writing strategies were most effective in supporting your argument, given your audience, subject, and purpose.
What to Submit
Your reflective essay must be 23 pages and must be written in MLA or APA format. Use double spacing, 12-point Times New Roman font, and one-inch margins. Any sources should be cited according to MLA or APA style. you do want to make sure that the final draft is polished and professional.
Strikethrough.
Comment 10
Can you find any examples of this in action, any case studies? The evidence you provide here
suggests a strong correlation, but needs a little more push.
Comment 11
etc., would
Comment 12
Strong paragraph, but it could use a few statistics to provide context and illustration. What is
the poverty discrepancy between urban and rural areas, for instance? It would be helpful if
the reader could put some numbers to that.
Comment 13
You successfully establi sh a connection between drug and alcohol abuse and negative
outcomes for children, but the urban/rural divide isnt demonstrated. Evidence is needed to
support your points about rural areas and treatment.
PAGE 3
Comment 14
Strong paragraph.
Comment 15
This paragraph addresses a challenge to your thesis, while the following paragraph jumps
back into your main argument. If Im reading these correctly, they should be swapped.