answered: Please rewrite my current paper with the details provided an

  

Please rewrite my current paper with the details provided and include all of the details. Please READ everything carefully and include everything thats asked in the instructions
This was my proffesors comment on my current paper: You needed to have at least three main ideas that connect back to your main belief.
This will be a narrative essay on a time in your life when you identify and explain one of your “core beliefs.” Consider using NPR’s “This I Believe” and the Annenberg Classroom’s “Background Beliefs” in understanding how to write about one’s core beliefs. In your prewriting activities for this module, you have built discussions on “Examining Our Beliefs” and you’ve annotated personal narratives of professional essayists. You’ve begun this assignment by working with personal organizers to reflect how to organize your ideas in a narrative shape.
The best way to approach this narrative writing is to think about a core belief that you have that is unique or perhaps even controversial. You can write about how you developed this core belief and how it shapes your worldview.
Purpose
The purpose of your narrative essay is to demonstrate your critical thinking about how your personal biases affect how you see and interact in the world. You will:
Learn to identify biases in thought and/or action
Practice specific organizational essay styles (chronological order) while writing multi-paragraph essays with the introduction-body-paragraph layout
Attend to audience and tone in the language you use for this academic audience
Work on clarity at the sentence level to create an engaging and professional-sounding document
INSTRUCTIONS:
As you publish this narrative/reflection, you’ll think about how to:
Introduce the belief with an introductory paragraph that provides both background information and a hook detail;
Write multiple body paragraphs (think beyond the “5 Paragraph Essay” you might have learned in high school) that explain to readers in a thoughtful (usually chronological order) way that provides both vignettes (“little stories” that show your experiences with this belief) and accompanying explanation as to the significance of that belief; and
Conclude with a reflection—where do you go from here? Do you have work to do on this belief (research, listening to others, educating others) so that they understand your position more? After writing this, do you still feel the same way? Might others interpret your beliefs differently? How so?
I want my essay on the topic of “Life is too short to be negatie, so enjoy and cherish every single moment you get”
HOOK: I recently learned that life is very too short to be negative and hard on yourself, but its much better to cherish and enjoy every single moment you get.
MAIN idea 1: Through my 4 years in high school, I was hard on my self with my insecurities and just generally negative thus no looking back at it. It made not enjoy my 4 years of high school, and this coul’ve been a lot better experince if I had not done that.
Examples:
-I would always stay closed, and not make friends with anyone
– My friends would tell me to join retain clubs to have after school activities but I would always reject because I was to nevous and I didn’t see myself being involed in anything
– Lasty, I was offered so many times to come to school activities, such as football and basketball games but I would just say no and chose to stay at home, and now looking back at it, I had good high school experince, but if I said yes and did and allowed my self to cherish all those moments then I coul’ve had more memoriable4 years of high school
Main idea 2: I lost my father at young age, and I lost him at a very unexpect time. He was taken away from me and my family due to someones very careless and stupid actions.
Examples:
-I didn’t get to spend much time with him, as he was always working and the only times we had were during nights and over the weekends. But,at nights I would always be in my room doing something that was not even important.
– My father was a true dad, he always wanted to be outdoors with us and explore and do something new with my family, but when we would apporach me and say lets go do this tommorow or I found this nice park lets go explore it. I would always find reasons not to go.
– My father always treated me like a princess and I have never misstreated him but I think looking back at my memories I wasn’t the best towards him, I always complained and made excuses and I just wanted things my way. Granted this was the years of my teenage years so Iwas extrermly stuborn but I reget not doing all those things he brought up and not spending more time with him.
Main Idea 3: I had a part time job at my local shoe store, and I hated my job because it was very boring and made me felt like I had no purpose being there.
– But now that I got a new job somewhere else, I miss my old job, my current job is a lot more work intensive, so its so much harder on my body
– I loved my co-workers at my past job and I hate my current co-workers because everyone is just very bossy and always getting bad at everyone