Self-disclosure
is a crucial element of building trust and becoming close to
others. However, do we gain the same benefits when we do so
online? In this assignment, you will first watch this lecture by
Psychologist Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone? Then, you will relate some key points
from that video to what Bevan and Sole (2014), had to say about the
importance of self-disclosure in relationship formation and
psychological health discussed in Chapter 7. You will discuss the
importance of disclosing information and some of the general concerns
Turkle raises about being both “connected” and “isolated” in our
computer-mediated communication. Prepare: To prepare for this discussion post, you must do the following:Watch the video Connected, but alone.Read Chapter 7 in the course text. Focus especially on section 7.4.Based on what you’ve learned in these
readings and videos, consider the importance self-disclosure in
connecting with others and psychological health. Read the writing prompt below in its entirety. Notice that there are three tasks to complete:Define self-disclosure and explain its importance.Think about how computer mediated communication has influenced patterns of self-disclosure and connecting with others.Make connections between the themes of computer-mediated communication (CMC), isolation, and psychological health.Review the grading rubric. Reflect: Take time to reflect on the role of self-disclosure in the formation and sustenance of relationships. Consider when it is appropriate and how this can change over time or in various contexts. Write: Based on what you have learned in Chapter 7 of Bevan and Sole (2014) and the video by Sherry Turkle (2012), address the following:What is self-disclosure and how does it allow us to form bonds with others and become more self-aware?How has computer-mediated communication (and
social media specifically) influenced patterns of self-disclosure and
connecting with others?Why is self-disclosure and “connecting” with others important in psychological health?Thoroughly address all three elements of this
prompt by writing at least two to three sentences on each element. Use
the course readings at least once to help you make your points.
Consider copying and pasting these tasks into a word file and
addressing each of them separately.Your initial response should be 200 to 300 words in length and is due by Thursday.
07ch.pdf

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7
Beginning Interpersonal
Relationships
Fuse/Thinkstock
Learning Objectives
In this chapter, readers will explore how individuals initiate interpersonal relationships. By the
end of this chapter, readers will be able to
• Explain how perceptions and impressions frame and shape the relationship
initiation process
• Identify how individuals start and manage conversations with others
• Compare and contrast four of the primary theories of attraction and relationship
development
• Explain why self-disclosure is significant when beginning relationships
• Describe Knapp’s five stages of relationship formation
• Apply strategies for competent communication during relationship initiation
and formation
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
Introduction
Not sure if this will work but thought I’d give it a try. I met you in line at the Ralph’s on Sunset
near La Brea Tuesday evening. You were in front of me and I commented on some of the food
items you were purchasing. You told me you were on your way home to cook dinner. I wanted
to chat more but you left before I had the chance to say anything. If you’re reading this, feel
free to send me an email and let me know what food item I commented on. It’d be cool to
continue our conversation. (Craigslist.org anonymous post, “Missed Connections,” October
2013, Los Angeles)
Even the first few minutes of the initial interaction with another person can be powerful: The fact
that people place ads to reconnect with relative strangers is an example of just how powerful. The
above excerpt is a “Missed Connections” advertisement posted on Craigslist. Such missed connections occur when individuals meet each other, exchange glances, exchange smiles, or initiate
a conversation. At least one person finds the other attractive or memorable, even in that brief
interaction, but the interaction abruptly ends, for one reason or another, before contact information is shared or future plans are made. “Missed Connections” ads also indicate that interpersonal communication does not just happen: For people to communicate, one person must take
the initiative and make contact with another person. The other person must then respond in
some way for a connection to occur. And sometimes, even that initial connection is broken, often
to one communicator’s regret.
Earlier in this text, we defined communication as a process—a series of steps in which an idea is
formed, a message is encoded, and this message is sent via a channel to a receiver who decodes or
interprets the message and responds to it along with some type of verbal or nonverbal feedback.
Now we turn our attention to how we first make these connections with other people, engage
in conversations to get to know them better, listen and share information, and begin to form
and initiate close relationships. In Chapter 7, we will discuss how relationships are initiated.
Relationships are the important and close connections or associations that we forge and maintain with other people via communication. These relationships include our romantic partners,
friends, and family members. We explore the importance of first impressions and perceptions,
how we carry on conversations with others, and theories that describe how and why we are
attracted to others. We also take an in-depth look at the important concepts of self-disclosure
and the stages of interpersonal relationships and their contributions to the interpersonal communication process.
   7.1 First Impressions Matter: Perceptions
and Impressions
When you initially meet someone, you almost immediately form an impression of the person—
and the person forms an impression of you. These impressions are formed based on how individuals look, including their physical attractiveness and what they are wearing, what they say,
and how they sound. As you learned in Chapter 2, when you interact with others, each person
presents an image of himself or herself. We each have a self that we display in social situations, a
public personality that we show to other people. Others form initial impressions of us by way of
the self that we present to the world, and we form similar impressions of others based on their
self-presentations. To make sure that you create the most positive impression possible when you
first meet someone, you need to understand the process of creating first impressions and the
ways you can manage the impression you create with others. We make assumptions and create
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
expectations of other people using the four perceptual methods of selective perception, schemas,
stereotypes, and prototypes, as well as the principles of implicit personality theory. These perception concepts, as well as impression management, formation, and the four defining components
of impression, are discussed in the next sections.
Perceptions
At the most basic level, when we communicate we must first perceive others and the world before
us. Perception is a dynamic process that involves selecting, organizing, and interpreting the world
around us. We do not objectively see things that are external to us; rather, we become aware of
objects, events, people, and messages by perceiving them via one or more of our five senses. We
cannot process and attend to everything we are exposed to in our daily lives, but perception
allows us to make sense of and organize what we do encounter by way of our senses. The process
of perception involves three general stages:
1. Selection, which occurs when something stimulates our senses in some way, and we respond
by focusing on or attending to it
2. Organization, which occurs when we arrange the information that we have perceived in a
manner that makes sense to us
3. Interpretation, which is a subjective process that occurs when we explain and assign meaning
to the thing that we have selected and organized
Within these stages, there are four specific concepts that we employ when we perceive something, and we describe each below.
Selective Perception
Consider the room or area that you are in right now. Look around you and try to take in everything that you can. Though you may attempt to perceive each and every thing that surrounds you
at any given time, doing so is impossible. There are too many stimuli. Thus, in the selection part
of the perception process, we engage in selective perception, directing our attention to the task of
perceiving some stimuli and thus ignore or disregard other stimuli. The stimuli that we choose
to perceive catch our attention in any number of ways. It may be appealing to the eye, such as a
physically attractive individual or an adorable puppy. It may be the most dominant thing in your
presence, like extremely loud music from the apartment next door. It may be something that you
personally relate to, such as a vase just like the one that your grandmother displayed in her living
room. Or it may be something that aligns with your beliefs, values, or preferences, such as a pennant on the wall that is associated with a sports team that you root for. You are likely to notice
these types of stimuli first in the selection process, and then continue on to organize them in the
next step of the process of perception.
Schemas
Assume that you have been invited to attend a music concert at a local venue. You have been to
that theater before, and you remember that the acoustics are wonderful, and all the seats offer
great views of the stage. You know that parking is very convenient, and several restaurants are
nearby where you can go to grab a bite to eat before the concert or to relax afterward. You also
own an album, produced by the musical group that is performing, and you like their music very
much. You are excited about attending the concert, and you expect to have a terrific evening.
Your expectation that the upcoming concert should be fun is based on the operation of a schema.
Schemas are organized collections of information about a subject that are stored in your memory
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
from past experiences. These mental structures or templates help you process and
categorize new information quickly, rather
than starting from a blank slate every time
you encounter a new situation. As such,
schemas are a significant part of the organization process of perception because they
are based on your own experiences. You
tend to believe strongly in the validity of
your schemas, and they create expectations
about a situation (Fiske & Taylor, 1991).
You have schemas about social situations,
objects, and people and their social roles.
We all assume roles in our lives—functions
or positions that we have in our society. We
may occupy several of these social roles at
TAO Images Limited/TAO Images/Getty Images
the same time. For example, someone may
▲▲We have schemas for social situations, objects, and people
simultaneously be a wife, mother, daughter,
and their social roles. One person can occupy several of these
doctor, and community volunteer, but each
social roles at the same time, such as grandmother, teacher,
of these roles has a different set of expected
and community leader.
behaviors. A person schema is an expectation about what a specific person will be
like, based on certain characteristics he or she has. For example, you are referring to a person
schema when you say something like, “Every person I’ve known named Jose has been a nice guy!”
A role schema is a set of opinions you have about how someone in a certain role should look or
behave. For example, you might state, “Parents should not swear in front of their children!” These
person schemas and role schemas are mental images based on your personal experiences or on
the behavior of other people in your life who have played these roles. You make judgments about
people based, in part, on whether they conform to these opinions, and your impressions contribute to your decision about whether to get to know this person better.
For example, let’s assume that all the librarians you have known have been women, have worn
glasses, and have liked classical music. If you were about to meet someone and were told that this
person was a librarian, you would most likely expect this person to possess these traits. When
you saw this person, you would tend to look for characteristics and behaviors that confirmed your
expectations about librarians and to remember those traits if they were present. What schemas
do you carry with you about people and the roles they play? Can you identify schemas you have
about students? Teachers? Think about how your schemas might influence your judgments when
you meet new people who assume these roles.
Stereotypes
When we use stereotypes, we are answering the question “What can I expect it to do?” by relying
on predictive, broad generalizations. As discussed earlier in this text, stereotypes are a specific
type of schema, and are preconceived opinions you hold about someone or something. A stereotype assumes that all members of a particular group possess the same or similar characteristics. Whereas schemas are based on your own experiences, stereotypes are usually not based
on reason, fact, or past experiences. You may form stereotypes based on what others have said,
images portrayed by the media, or mistaken beliefs you have about people. Stereotypes can also
be guided or determined by cultural beliefs.
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
Schemas are more likely to be related to individual characteristics of a person, but stereotypes
ignore the individual characteristics and assume that the person possesses personality traits or
holds attitudes that are typical of an entire group. Stereotypes are often negative and reflect
prejudices, preconceived opinions of dislike, hostility, or unjust behavior. Schemas, on the other
hand, do not necessarily have negative connotations (Pennington, 2000).
Prototypes
Another way to organize the perceptions that you select is by using prototypes. Like a stereotype, a prototype is a generalization—a broad, sweeping statement that may or may not be
based on facts or experience. Prototypes represent a mental image you have about the attitudes
and behaviors of the ideal person in a specific role. Your prototype of a best friend, for example,
would probably include what you think his or her personality should be like, what interests and
beliefs he or she should have, and what attitudes he or she should hold about certain subjects.
This prototype is the epitome of what you envision a best friend to be. The person who actually
becomes your best friend will probably have a great deal in common with your prototype of a
best friend. However, if your friend changes and develops new interests and different attitudes,
the gap between the prototype and the actual person will grow. If that happens, the relationship might change, and, although you might still be friends, you are no longer best friends
(Pennington, 2000).
Prototypes, like stereotypes and schemas, are obviously oversimplifications and generalizations. To some extent, we need to generalize across the many perceptions we select each day
in order to categorize them in a useful and efficient way. You thus carry these mental images
into your interactions with other people, but these ways to organize your perceptions become
problematic when you start to rely on them as your only source of information about something. When you meet people, it is important that you keep an open mind and guard against
letting your preconceived ideas unduly influence your early judgments of others. In that way,
you can get to know the other person as the unique individual that he or she is based on how
that person acts and the interactions that you share. If you build a relationship with that person, over time some of your initial impressions will be confirmed and others will be discarded
(Zunin, 1986).
Implicit Personality Theory
How do these perceptions work together to form a general impression or perception of someone?
Implicit personality theory provides an explanation of how perceptions are predicted to fit
together. According to this theory, once we know a small amount about someone’s characteristics or traits, we use that small bit of information to help fill in our general expectation about that
person with other similar qualities. Which personality characteristics go together is typically
determined by our previous experiences and interactions with others.
For example, research (Dion, Berscheid, & Walster, 1972; Langlois et al., 2000) has consistently
found that people who perceive that someone is very physically attractive will also think that he
or she is kind, friendly, generous, and smart as well, even if they have no direct evidence for the
existence of those personality traits. Grouping together positive personality characteristics in
this way is called the halo effect. In contrast, the reverse halo effect, also called the horn effect,
describes the grouping of negative characteristics on the assumption that the individual only has
other negative traits as well. As with stereotypes and prototypes, we use implicit personality theory to organize and interpret our interactions with others. The danger associated with this theory
occurs when we do not check our perceptions via communication or are unwilling to learn more
about the person in order to more accurately understand who the individual is.
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
Impressions
At the broadest level, an impression is the overall effect of someone or something, which is based
to some extent on your experience with it. There are three important aspects of impression that
researchers consistently study: how we form impressions of other people, how long these impressions last, and how we attempt to manage the impressions that others form of us. Interpersonal
communication is instrumental in assisting us in forming impressions of others and managing
others’ impressions of us.
Impression Formation
The old saying, “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression” is true. Not only
do we form impressions and make judgments and decisions about people quickly, but also these
split-second impressions are often long lasting and difficult to change. With impression formation, you are decoding, or interpreting, dimensions of another person’s image. For example, when
you first meet someone, studies have shown that you form general impressions of the person
based on facial appearance alone—and you form these impressions in less than a tenth of a second. Based on that split-second impression, you immediately judge the attractiveness, trustworthiness, and likeability of the other person, and you also form impressions of specific traits, such
as competence or aggressiveness, that you believe the person possesses (Willis & Todorov, 2005).
Researchers have found that you usually approach new people with preconceived ideas about
their personalities, attitudes, and beliefs as well as certain expectations of how they should behave
(Uleman, 1999). Any number of things can aid in forming these impressions. For example, wearing the color red in a job application context led participants in one study to form impressions
that the job candidate was less intelligent and would be less likely to be hired in comparison to
applicants wearing blue or green items of clothing (Maier et al., 2013). In this way implicit personality theory and stereotypes can come into play when you form impressions of others.
But in many ways, the ability to make quick assessments of other people is a valuable trait to
possess; the judgments you make can help you detect potential threats and keep you safe. You
continually encounter strangers as you walk down the street, sit next to them in a crowded movie
theater, or pass by them in a grocery store parking lot. Your safety may depend on your ability to
judge the personalities and accurately predict the behavior of people you encounter. This ability
to form accurate impressions of others can help you sense if it is a good idea to give your number
to someone that you have just met, or if you can trust the person you are talking to via an online
dating website enough to meet in person.
Impression Management
At the same time that we are forming long-lasting impressions of others, we also trying to influence the impressions that others form of us. The act of encoding, or creating, dimensions of your
own image is called impression management. When you are preparing to go out on a first date
with someone, for example, you probably pay particular attention to your appearance. You take
special care with your grooming, the clothing you choose to wear, and other aspects of your
physical appearance. When you see the other person, you are most likely on your best behavior,
and you do your best to smile and convey a positive impression. These are all attempts to create
a good first impression.
Social psychologists have identified two techniques that people commonly use for impression
management: self-enhancement and other-enhancement. Self-enhancement includes behaviors, such as paying attention to how you dress, describing yourself in positive ways, and playing
up your accomplishments, which help you present yourself in the best way possible. Researchers
First Impressions Matter: Perceptions and Impressions
Chapter 7
have found that people who used selfenhancement techniques when trying to
make a date with another person were more
successful than people who were more honest or modest about their accomplishments
(Rowatt, Cunningham, & Druen, 1998).
Other-enhancement attempts to create a
favorable impression by making the other
person feel good. The most obvious method
is by flattering the other p …
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